Joke of the day

So today I was having a super crappy morning at work.

Then, I met with a group of Vice Presidents and Managing Directors to discuss the financial results for the end of the 2nd quarter. Many of them were talking about future projects, profits in the second half of the year and even merging with another financial services firm to expand our office. It was interesting since my boss brought in a corporate finance attorney who worked for a lot of dot.coms in the Silicon Valley back in the late 90's.  His name was Andy* the Attorney, and he was a very enthusiastic guy. He was jumping up and down the halls with his presentation kits, smiling and I am sure he could have used some decaf coffee. He has served in house counsel for many large corporation and successful entrepreneurial ventures. Andy had been working in corporate America for a very long time.

He gave our project team a big lecture on the benefits of merging with XYZ company, and how if we buy them out, then our product diversification mix will grow substantially. We will have more clients, industries and function groups to work with our clients. He was so enthusiastic, our entire staff gave him a standing ovation after his lecture.

After his lecture, I had a lunch meeting with him and 3 guys in my department.

He used to work for one of the biggest coffee house chains in the world. I will give you a hint, the company starts with the letter "S" and is based out of the west coast. This company does NOT franchise its coffee houses anymore, but for a brief time back in the mid 90's, they used to offer some franchises.

He started telling me about the franchise process and how he would get investors to join this GIGANTIC coffee house chain. During lunch, he stood up and started running around our table in circles, moving so fast and telling me about the marketing, products, start up money and so on. He then said "To buy a coffee house franchise with (guess the company name?) back in 1995 , you needed to have  5 million dollars in liquid assets. Then you need to qualify with good credit, and then there is the training.."

Suddenly I started laughing in the middle of lunch. My boss looked at me like I was crazy. The other co workers looked at me like I was out of my mind. Andy the Attorney wouldn't stop talking about this coffee house. Andy started to get bothered by me laughing, and then I looked up at him.

 I said, "Andy, If I had 5 million dollars in liquid assets, I sure as hell wouldn't be buying a coffee shop. I don't know what the hell you are smoking, but if I had 5 million dollars in cash I would be in Hawaii. I'm Sorry. That is wrong, but that is funny!"

Then my boss started laughing.

Ok so it really wasn't that funny of a joke of the day, but it made my day a little better! I guess it was one of those "you had to be there" moments and you weren't there. Oh well, have a great weekend everyone!

- The Poor Paralegal

*name has been changed to protect privacy

Enrollment Drops Drastically at Law School

Good News....

It looks like more and more law school administrators, faculty and staff are now accepting the facts about the legal profession. There are so many unemployed lawyers and not enough jobs. I do applaud Vermont Law School for addressing this issue by lowering their class size by nearly 25%! You read about the article here:  Law School Enrollment down 23.8 %

The article discusses how the school is coming ot terms with the fact that we simply have too many attorneys chasing too few jobs in the United States. One of the staff members at VLS even said, "With the recession and tough legal job market there are more lawyers and fewer legal jobs”

VLS is known for having one of the best environmental law programs in the country, and it is a very well respected school. I have a lot of respect for the administration of this school for actually coming to terms with the changing legal job market. I wonder what made them decide to lower enrollment? Was it all these scamblogs? I will never know, but I just hope more schools follow and start lowering enrollments.

If you are a law school faculty member or administrator, please keep reading these blogs. Listen to the sad stories you hear about graduates drowning in debt, with no job prospects and working dead end jobs. Don't dismiss us as whiners, actually take the time to listen to what we have to say. It reminds me of a scene I once saw on Ally McBeal on youtube. You can watch the video on Youtube yourself.

- The Poor Paralegal

Would you go to law school to become a Paralegal?

It's about that time of year again...

ARE..

YOU....

READY....

FOR ....

MORE PROBLEMS IN THE LEGAL PROFESSION THIS YEAR???

Just when you thought the legal profession would not hit a new low, you are wrong:

The University of Texas at Austin has now launched a 5 month paralegal program and sent brochures to its law school alumni, telling them of this wonderful new program!

WOW! Imagine, spending 3 years of your life, tuition, room and board and lost wages only to get an invitation to a paralegal program after you graduate!

If you want to learn more about this debt for diploma program read about it here:

Go to Law School to Become a Paralegal!

I have a friend who is working in document review, graduated from UC Hastings school of law and we both were talking about this hilarious new article in Above the Law. UTA is a very well respected school, but if a top 15 law school is telling its graduates to become paralegals, what does that tell you about the legal profession? UNDERGRADUATES BEWARE!

My friend said "Lawyers working as paralegals, what’s next ..lawyers working as cops?" It reminded me of a funny video I once saw a while back. I uploaded the video below for your viewing pleasure. Usually the Bailiff/Sheriff keeps order in the court and protects civilians from violence, but in Pakistan a group of lawyers started to beat the police. The world is changing...

-The Poor Paralegal

Middle Class Jobs are Vanishing

Most of America's middle class works making between $40,000-70,000 a year salaries as middle managers will see dramatic shifts in their future opportunities. Due to outsourcing, globalization, streamlining and changes in the US economy, there is no need for many of these jobs. India produces over 800,000 engineers a year, whereas the US only creates about 60,000 engineers. I am part south asian, and many students who grow up in India, Pakistan, etc. end up becoming very well educated. I had one friend from Arabic school who told me in India he grew up learning Hindi/Urdu, Panjabi, English, Arabic and one western language (French, Spanish, etc.)  Keep in mind, that this is in PUBLIC school, not some fancy private school.

Many of the BRIC countries (Brazil, Russia, India and China) are rapidly growing and outsourcing is taking those jobs away from the US and sending them to overseas. Globalization is  killing the legal profession, as many document review and legal research jobs are being sent abroad.  Read this article in the Wall Street Journal, to learn more about these changes, http://www.marketwatch.com/story/your-well-paid-middle-class-job-is-in-danger-2011-06-16

Even many well paid workers are now seeing their jobs vanish, and the odds of getting very high paying jobs will be very difficult for years to come. Since I work in investment banking, and I met quite a few survivors from the  Lehman Brothers and Bear Stearns collapse when the "Great Recession" started.

Just last week I met one guy who was at BS and worked as an Associates in the Fixed Income Group division of corporate banking. He was well educated, out of a top 20 MBA school for 3 years and was making around 250-300k a year. He was on his way to becoming a VP, but the mortgage meltdown and recession made him lose his job. He now works for my boutique company, and I know he makes like barely 100k a year. He even told me that the odds of getting one of those really high paying jobs on wall street will be rare for many years to come. He even thought about taking his CPA exam and doing accounting, since he has friends who are controllers, CFO's, and such who make more than him.

Even for someone who was making so much money on wall street, he gave me some great insight. You have to constantly adapt to the changing job market. You can't always just keep looking for a job in your industry. If you are in a profession where there are no jobs, then go out and figure out a way to find another job. Don't just sit around moping and being depressed. I couldn't find a legal job as a paralegal, so I went back to corporate America. I recently met one M&A attorney who needs a paralegal on contract basis, so I may work for him on the side while I work my full time job. I need to constantly figure out ways to make money, find part time work, learn new skills and figure out how to survive.

The point is that while a lot of these middle class jobs are vanishing, we all need to figure out how to survive. Yes, law school is a scam, there are no legal jobs and I can constantly bitch about it..or..

We can all go out, find out where the jobs are, learn new skills, figure out ways to make ends meet  and work hard at adapting to the changing job market.

To all you underemployed and unemployed lawyers and paralegals: be an active learner and try to make your own way, there is hope in this terrible economy!

- The Poor Paralegal

5 step plan to fix the Legal Profession

I recently found out about the class action lawsuit filed against Thomas Jefferson School of Law in San Diego by Anna Alaburda and recent graduates of TJLS. I think this is just the beginning, and eventually many more law schools will be sued by their graduates for fraudulent misrepresentation of material facts and NIED. These schools gave out false employment statistics and misled their graduates into thinking they would get jobs paying $70,000 + starting with a 80-90% placement rate.

Many of these graduates are now doing document review, part time jobs, or have no way to pay back their loans. Many prospective law students and graduates have e mailed me about the myths of the legal profession. They read the scam blogs, they read the New York Times article, but this should really open their eyes..Law school graduate can't find a job

Eventually many third and fourth tier law schools will likely face class action lawsuits by misleading their graduates with false promises of jobs, high starting salaries, and lucrative career opportunities.

A lot of changes will eventually impact the legal education industry.

I have come up with my own way of fixing the legal profession.

THE POOR PARALEGAL'S

FIVE STEP PLAN TO FIX THE LEGAL EDUCATION INDUSTRY

1.)   Every law school needs to lower enrollment by 1/3.

Every year we have 45,000 + law school graduates and only 30,000 jobs that require a JD. This will lead to law schools having fewer students and less funding, but they should just lay off greedy faculty members and hire more part time professors.

2.)   Require at least 2 years of full time work experience  as a prerequisite to attending law school. So many English, History and Political science majors go to law school by default. They have no idea of what to do after college. MBA programs require several years of experience for their applicants, and so should law schools! They should get more work experience and at least have some idea of the real world before they commit 3 years of their life to law school and the financial burden it requires.

3.)   Eliminate all NON ABA approved law schools and paralegal programs. All these CBA schools in California need to be shut down. These scam diploma mills aren't worth the paper they are printed on! All these online paralegal programs are full of shit. They need to have only ABA approved programs, and all legal employers should not hire anyone who doesn't graduate from an accredited program.

4.)  Make every law school student attend a seminar on financial counseling as a part of the application process to law school. This should be done BEFORE they even take the LSAT exam. This should be an intensive 1-2 day course  and it should give potential students the straight facts of the cost of a legal education, employment prospects and  give them a "reality check" on their ability to repay loans.

5.)  Enable a third party market research company that is NOT affiliated with law schools to provide accurate information in regards to employment statistics, salary information and such.


This is my 5 step plan to fix the legal education system. I think it would be a great idea of these steps were taken to fix the legal profession. I applaud Anna Alaburda for being such a brave and courageous woman to be the first law student to fight back against the law school scam.

To all you law school graduates who are struggling, hopefully things will get better in the near future!


-The Poor Paralegal

Refugees from the Legal Profession

Mazel Tov!


I have met quite a few refugees from the legal profession working in non legal fields. I recently went to a Persian Jewish wedding in Beverly Hills and met a lot of attorneys and paralegals who have escaped from the law.


When I was a little kid, I was not allowed to eat "outside" meat, and we only ate halal and kosher meat in the house and when we went out to restaurants. My father was very strict and I still remember getting yelled at in third grade when he found out I had Mcdonalds chicken nuggets(non kosher/halal). I cried for days, it was horrible!

Growing up, I remember meeting a lot of guys at the kosher delis on Pico and Robertson in Beverly Hills and west LA.  Even though we lived in the suburbs, we would always buy meat from there whenever we were in LA. Back in the day, it was very hard to find halal meat butchers, so kosher delis were the only other option. My father and I would meet many of the customers who were working in the legal profession. Many were practising attorneys and I had never heard of anyone leaving the legal profession.

At the wedding, I met many attorneys and some former legal professionals. One was working as a high school English teacher and another took over his parents rental properties. At the bar, I saw a very beautiful woman sitting all by herself.

Out of curiosity, I asked my friend who she was.

The moment I saw her, I was startled by her piercing blue eyes. She had dark long wavy hair and olive skin, but her eyes were as blue as the Mediterranean sea.

I knew I had to meet her.

She was a Yemeni woman who graduated on law review  from a top law school and worked as an attorney for several years before opening up her own consulting business. She gave me some great tips on how to transition into a non legal career for lawyers and paralegals. She charges over $600.00 an hour and helps CEO's and CLO's find jobs.


She gave me a few pointers on how to transition into a non legal career with a legal background. Since she charges a lot of  money for her services, I thought I would post some valuable tidbits of information for my fellow poor legal professionals.

1.)   Emphasize your business courses- Contracts law, U.C.C., Trademark, Real Estate, Corporate Finance, etc.  If you have a useless BA in English, History or Poli Sci, then put business courses on your resume that you took in college. If you took an elective in  economics, then write it down. If you haven't worked in business, learn the basics through the library and on your resume that you know how to read financial documents, basic accounting, and multiple computer programs.

2.)   Discuss how your coursework and internships/jobs were NON law related.  This is very tricky since if you were working as an associate or paralegal, then you were actually involved in legal practice.

Here is an example of how it can be done:

If you were an associate working with a real estate company, then say you were involved in "legal transactions involving land, leasing, capital management and budgeting."

If you did business litigation then say you were involved with "accounts management, operations and business policy."

3.)  Emphasize that you did "management roles" as a legal professional. Explain how you effectively managed assignments, cases and the office team.

4.) Discuss interaction with non legal professionals. Your resume should say "member of strategic management team of the CFO" or "corporate partner  with CTO and  anythingcom.com "


To all your unemployed and underemployed legal professionals, try using these tips to help find a non legal job!

There were just tiny pearls of wisdom I learned which are very useful for tweaking your resume to find non legal jobs. I feel very fortunate to have met such a smart and intelligent woman, but I just wish all of you could have seen her  in person.

-The Poor Paralegal

Law School Applications Plummet in 2011

It looks like the word is getting out that a JD is not a ticket to print money like many people think it is. I found this great video and article online by Fox News in Minnapolis, MN.

I highly recommend you watch it!


Law School Applications Plummet

- The Poor Paralegal